Cuddle up in your favorite pajamas and embrace telling your own story. Grab your coffee and see how we are trying to teach our toddler to tell his own story.
Recently we have been using the phrase tell your own story when we talk to Declan. He’s really infatuated with what Brendan and I were like when we were growing up and therefore wants to tell our story and make it his own. And as I thought more about this I realized the importance of encouraging Declan to tell his own story.
The time has come. Three (and a half) years have gone by. Declan is headed to full time Preschool. And I am in no way ready for this.
Recently I read an honest and heartfelt post (link here) from Shannon of Moms Without Labels and it left me in tears-not only because it was beautifully written but because I could relate so much. She took all of my emotions and eloquently wrote them down… only they were her own. Thank you Shannon for inspiring me to share my own story about Declan’s last days at home and the transition back to school.
So this marks my first official “mom” blog post. Finding the ever fleeting “mom balance” lies ahead.
Since the launch of Pish to Posh I have tried to keep Declan separate but I have learned time and time again that, for me, I can not do that. Declan is my world…. Declan is my grounding rock and on some days my only friend. Declan makes me laugh harder and love more intensely than I ever imagined. He reminds me to slow down and look at life through the lens of a child; very matter of fact like. There is no subjective undertone when he is talking to me and asking me questions, he has no hidden agenda- he is only three. I crave to spend time with Declan and I have the worst FOMS (fear of missing something) as a mother. I want to be there at every step of his growth, I want to be the one to teach him everything he knows. I never want to see him fail and I so desperately want to be involved in EVERY single aspect of his life ….except when I don’t.
And that my friends is real life.
Sometimes I want to run away and never look back. There are days where I question every life decision I have made that has led me to the point where I am having another conversation as to why we can’t flush the dog down the toilet. Believe it or not sometimes I want to sit down and eat dinner without a continous battle over whether one or two bites is enough to earn a cookie. There are days where I would love to read a book without having trains, trucks and dinosaurs trampling me. And do you know what I would give to drink a cup of coffee or wine uninterrupted???? I am not the parent who is obsessed with their child. I am obsessed with being a mother and I am obsessed with providing the very best for my child but I am the first to admit that I crave balance between being a mother and being a woman. There is nothing I want more in life than to love and spoil my son… the appropriate amount. I am not that mom. Does that make me a bad mom??? Sometimes it may seem that way and some may say it does but for me finding the balance is the only way I can continue to strive to be the best mother for Declan.
Photos: Jenna Sparks Photography
I am by no means an expert on parenting but I can say with a lot of confidence that I am an expert on parenting Declan. There is no one who knows him like I do, there is no one who gives up as much as I do and there is no one who loves him like I do. And because of that I know that the balance we have of time together and time apart is what keeps our relationship strong. It is because I know him so well that I understand he needs socialization and play, it is because I give up so much that I allow myself to take time to nurture my soul and it is because I love him so much that I seek time without him. Love makes the heart grow fonder and I find the more I miss Declan the more I crave to be with him.
Some of you know but many do not that Declan had serious medical issues at birth ( a whole other blog post to come) but an immediate and overwhelming need to protect and care for my son was thrown upon me as he was rushed to the NICU, after an unplanned immediate c-section, where he lived for 4 long weeks. My path as a mother lead me to quit my job and stay home with Declan. The first 18 months were challenging to say the least (my goal is not to attract sympathy but to provide background). However out of those months we formed a bond that I am confident we would not have if it not been for his medical issues. HOWEVER, now that he is a 100% healthy, thriving, inquisitive, mischievous and flourishing toddler it is time for us to figure out what the next chapter holds. Our bond as mother and son is unbreakable so I am not afraid to create some space… for both of us to learn… for both of us to grow… to find some balance and for both of us to bloom.
I hope that with these new “mom blog” posts you will continue to see the message behind my writing and that you come to expect the same honest and truthful nature I try to capture each week. Writing about motherhood is harder than I had anticipated but I want to be authentic in this space. It is less about the fashion (although Declan is a total ham in front of the camera) and more about my desire to connect with each of you on some level. I know that not all of you are mothers but I hope, even you, will come back each week for a little insight into my everyday world as a women, blogger and MOTHER.
With Love,
Hoppy Easter!!! (super corny I know!)
Easter is often looked upon as a time of “rebirth”. As a Christian and someone who celebrates Easter I must confess that this year is the first in many where I have taken the time to reflect on the meaning of this holiday. Now, I am not going to preach at you nor will this post be heavily loaded with religion but as you have come to know I try to be honest in my writing. This Easter brings some new and different reflections. As Easter is in spring and spring is a time of regrowth, rebirth and starting anew I could not help but to see a parallel between my life and this Easter season.
Over the last few weeks you may have noticed (or not, which would be great) that I have been a bit off or a bit scatterbrained and even a bit negative. At the beginning I thought it was just because I did not want to leave London but as time has gone on it is has become more apparent there are deeper feelings here. I have felt, for some time, a serious dichotomy between my life here on the blog and social media and my life offline…. they did not seem to mirror each other. I am in control of what I put out into cyberspace and I took great care to showcase myself in the best light possible- to be fair to myself who wouldn’t?!? BUT it is time that I begin to showcase my life as I see it everyday. As a stay at home mother and a wife.
Photos: Zoey Grace Photography
Dressing for Easter is one of my favorite things because it always reminds me of getting dressed up as a little girl. This year we are spending Easter in Chicago with Brendan’s family and I am so very excited to get dressed up. Finding my whole outfit at Old Navy was a pleasant surprise for me as I went in looking for some stuff for Declan. I am loving this duster length cardigan and this pin tuck dress- both easy to wear, trendy and comfortable. Declan’s sport coat was a random find but isn’t it just ADORABLE. I am one who does not like to spend a lot of money on clothes for my three year old boy as they either end up with food, dirt or boogers on them so I was happy to find his Easter outfit for under $25. These skinny chinos and this bicycle polo still allow him to run around yet look put together. Brendan’s classic style suits him so well as he just loves his chambray and polos– it is seriously his dadiform!!!
It is time that I begin to weave my online life with my real life… starting with the fact that I am a mom and wife and a friend. I started this blog as something for myself and worked very hard at keeping it separate from my life as a mother and a wife… but over time that has becoming impossible to keep up. Rightfully so! Do I still love fashion- yes!! Do I still want to inspire you to feel good through fashion- yes!!! Are there are other aspects to me that I want to share with you- YES!!!! I am more than just a fashionable person (and somedays I am not even that) and there are so many pieces that make me whole. My goal to inspire you remains at the core of my journey but I want to inspire you to be real and authentic in your own life- to cherish and foster your passions, to admittedly accept your challenges and to be proud of all the things that make you whole. So, as we approach Easter Sunday and celebrate the rebirth of Christ I am anxious to begin to rebuild, regrow and refine my blog and social media to showcase that I am a mother, a wife, a friend, a lover of Sauvignon Blanc, a passionate lifestyle fashionista, a little girl at heart, an avid recipe experimenter and an entrepreneur.
I hope you continue to travel this path with me- I hope you find inspiration for yourself-
With Love,
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