RSVP’ing for a party of one. A pity party for one.
Friends life is challenging right now. I was not going to write about it but I had a coffee date on Friday and I was inspired to be real and honest… so here is your daily dose of Debby Downer from my little corner of the world. So, if this topic does not interest you I totally understand if you stop reading now…but if you want to continue along I hope to come out on the other end with a more positive and optimistic message.
So, I moved back from London and I was really excited to be coming home!!! And then reality hit and I felt like I had been hit by a truck; a very large loud heavy truck. And since then I feel like I take 3 steps forward and then 716 steps backward. It seems like life just keeps kicking me while I am down and I am not done with it. It feels like I have checked into the Pity Party Hotel for an extended stay… and it is not a comfortable place to reside. While it is much easier to set up shop here, in the dumps, it is likely to be extremely unsuccessful in the long run. But I just can’t seem to figure out how to get myself out; and that is the honest truth. I am stuck here.
I have moments and sometimes days of clarity where I manage to put it all in perspective where I feel like I am able to handle the wealth of emotions, life changes and challenges coming my way. But when it begins to fall apart it seems to REALLY fall apart. In isolation each event, emotion or challenge is minimal and can be handled effectively and efficiently. But when they all seem to happen at once I get sucked up in the negative of it all… I just can’t seem to stay afloat. More often than not I feel like I can barely keep my head above water; with finding a preschool for Declan (been rejected twice), prioritizing my blog, rebuilding a life in Denver, parenting a toddler, developing and nurturing new friendships, being a loving wife, managing our household while my husband travels 100% of the time and reconnecting with old friends all while trying to take a moment for myself. I am in WAY over my head. I am drowning in sea of self-pity.
Photos: Jenna Sparks
shop the look: denim // OTS top // jacket // shoes // sunnies // clutch
How much more of a selling point do I need to make on this off the shoulder floral top other than to draw your attention to the print… I mean seriously!! I am in LOVE with it and it is even more amazing because it is a Liberty London print for J Crew. Two of my favorites coming together, again, to create the perfect spring off the shoulder floral top. The fit of this top is perfect but runs a little large so order a size down. I love the length on it which allows me to wear it with denim and shorts or skirts. Given this off the shoulder floral top is at the top of my price range for shirts I included a few at different price points <here> and <here>.
I was feeling “blue” so I paired it with this faux suede moto jacket and distressed denim to complete the look. My whole life has been feeling “blue” so it was an easy pairing for me. Both the fabulous jacket and denim are from Hailee Grace ( for all my Denver friends make sure you get in there as these are selling out quickly). This jacket is perfect for spring and compliments the florals I am seeing everywhere. The denim are an excellent addition to any wardrobe especially as we transition into spring.
Mules are H O T right now and I am loving this pair. Easy to slip on (literally) with any outfit. As the weather is continuing to get warmer I am wearing these more and more- especially when I have not had a pedicure but want a spring/summer shoe option!! They come in several other colors and I provided similar ones in a lower price point <here> and a high price point <here>.
leaving the pity party and staying afloat.
Well, I was thrown a life saver this weekend with a little get-away with the family. And more importantly I was able to spend a lot time processing and talking with Brendan who is feeling a bit of the same way. So while I have not entirely left the party I am no longer there alone and having some company feels really good. It is a learning process and I need to continuously remind that it is OKAY to have bad days. It is OKAY to feel like I do. Acknowledging that and being real about my feelings is the first step in getting out. Nothing can make it all better- nothing can take away all my challenges- and honestly I do not want that. The rest of the answers will come over time and I will continue to strive to be positive and remain honest…however, sometimes those are not inclusive of each other. But a friend at my party and breath of fresh air can make all the difference.
With Love,
